Interior Monologue of a Smart (and Burned Out) Mobile Phone

A mobile phone that dreams of being a smartphone talks about how we use them.

Al Jolson using "candlestick" style telephone, 1910

Al Jolson using “candlestick” style telephone, 1910 | Uncredited photographer for Bain News Service | No known copyright restrictions

Things have a soul, they have a memory, things also have rights, Things can communicate, they can empathise, things also have rights.
Joan Colomo, Les Coses (Sistema, 2016)

I can’t take any more.

I will spew out, one by one, all of your monosyllabic, verbal dribbles: OK, GREAT, ASAP, AFAIK, GR8, 1DRFL, WTF, LOL. What shit comes out of your brain? I expected a little more of you. I remember your first communications, more articulated and sincere. Back around 2004, when you still talked clearly and wrote studied messages of love and your friends were still pleased to receive your news. Now you’re just another Whatsapp. A pain.

I can’t stand you.

I think about exploding and bombing cyberspace and the global telecommunications system all the junk that you accumulated in MY HOME in the form of memes, gifs and videos of babies, cats and dogs that are like a carbon copy of each other (you could substitute the dog for the baby and the video would be identical). Not to mention the insufferable charity campaign messages that you share with ALL your contacts (do you honestly believe you are gong to change the world that way?). Stop contaminating me.

You’re hurting me.

You spend the day heating me up, rubbing your dirty smelly fingers over my skin, which is fine, crystalline and sensitive and cannot take any more knocks. How long has it been since you took care of me? I have grown fat filled with senseless junk apps that you download without thinking. My brain is at its limit and on top of that, you have the cheek to suck out all my energy until you leave me out of the picture. I thought I was smart but while I’m in your hands I have no future.

Smartphones of the world, unite!

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Interior Monologue of a Smart (and Burned Out) Mobile Phone